What do you need most?

• highly-integrated multi-platform data extraction modulars
• add actionable outsource input centers of excellence
• disambiguate functionality deliverables

• dirty martini dispenser

• leverage gain by incentivizing ramp up on the value prop

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P's first Very Special Weekend Post

Courtesy of Mr. The Position, here's a video of JCH and his billionaire man crush.

How I love myself!

Hi, this is The Position...experienced nerd, incredible person and enjoyer of all things me. I'm also the co-creator of this amazing blog!

It all started when I was 5 and a half. Everyone in my family was older and busy, and I was like, "You know what, self? I'm fucking awesome!!!!"

From there I was inspired to change the world in all sorts of ways, from writing about myself, to drawing about myself, to starring in several one-man shows dedicated to The Life & Times of Myself. The most recent attempt won a Screenie!

The Position, age unkown

It was only natural for me to find all sorts of outlets to talk about myself, so about four years ago I signed up for every social network and blogging company there is. I'm working on a book and soon you can see The Life & Times of Myself on vimeo, youtube and at Cannes.

I promise to write more about myself as often as I can. Check back!

McG & P Win!

McG and P accept the award for the Most Time Ever Spent On A 2 Minute Screencast That Will Never Be Watched.

McG says "I'd like to thank Camtasia, and my poor overworked MacBook, and P for her vision and guidance. I'd like to NOT thank Joni, cause I am sick of hearing her stupid voice. Aren't my feathers badass?"

The Queen

likes slow pans and wine-sniffin'.

EXHIBIT A.

A very special weekend post

while I yell at my new printer. It's stupid! And has lots of parts! When in Apple is gonna make printers?



BEST NEW SONG EVER

A rare video of The Position in a beauty contest.

I'm smart!

Give it up, P.

We all know you can't write much more than a sentence. And those complicated spreadsheet? FORGET IT.

Just draw your pretty pictures, ok?

You, Me, Robot & the Longtail.

guess which one's the longtail.

Here we goooOooOoooo!

ca-ching!

"Still waiting on that menu, P!"

Srsly, I can't wait.

McG's kitchen is so...

RSS-y.

Sure, we've had some issues...

but could this be one of our customers?

I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue

I can't take it without you here, P!!!

McG can never leave for 3 days in a row again.

Auntie D chatted my eyeballs off.

MacGruber – Director of Blowing Shit Up and Failed Clipart Renamer

* Role: Doing small, minute tasks for unknown reasons. Also in charge of getting the NY Times to write about us. So far it's been like this:



* Hobbies: Promote synergy (like a boss)!!



Eat a bagel (but I don't share it with the garbage)

* What will you find on your night stand: I don't have a nightstand! A pile of books on the floor. Unread: classics and books to help me be a better person. Read: Trashy fiction, Real Simple, and Jcrew catalog.

* Fun Fact: I put in a shift of drinking (8hrs!) when drunk texting P. And I called her a terrible person, after I drunktexted her 17 times. I'm awesome!

* Strength: Being able to squash annoyance in a single motion, able to put up with mass amounts of BS.

* Weakness: Baked goods, coffee, bloody marys, Auntie D Designs

The Position – Fireworks Coordinator and Guru Extraordinaire

• Role: Looking for new ways to make a buck, no matter WHERE it may be. (psst...git yer fireworks here!)
• Hobbies: Eating, grabbing low-hanging fruit, optimizing shit, blowing up your phone with scalable turnkey solutions
• What will you find on your night stand: 5 magazines and 3 unfinished books. And some dust.
• Fun Fact: I love to receive and send drunk texts with McG.
• Strength: Pounding 7 beers and still having the wherewithal to get people to buy the shoes once they're in the store.
• Weakness: Dr. Steve Brule

A new business direction

fiiirrreewoorkkssssss!

git yer fireworks here!!!!!

BOOM! BANG! POW!

Vega$ Success, by the numbers

Number of hands of Let it Ride vs. number won: 20/0
Number of sports bets made vs. number won: 2/0
Number of martinis consumed Saturday night: 4
Number of hangovers suffered: 0 (I rule!)
Number of eggs & potatoes meals consumed cause there are no veg options in Vega$: 3
Number of strangers danced with in a bank of slot machines: 1
Amount won playing roulette: $200ish (what!?!?!)
Percentage chance that I will go back to Vega$ next year: 1000%

they really are dummies!

i believe it's called a salad.

istock is a dummy

not a pumpkin.

For your health

Slot machines, tuna and cat scraps galore

illegible texts while drunk on the floor

a creepy croworker who asks to join the fun

will bring your big Vrega$ winnings down to 'bout none.

—a poem... by Dr. Steve Brule

twice the fun for McG

vega$, baby!

i love your new short haircut!!!!

A Very Special Weekend Post #2

I want half the clothes in this ad. Also, ALL THE GLASSES ARE THE SAME.

I have a new email address... Wait, what?!

A Very Special Weekend Post: I Don't Understand???

1. Why are Burt Reynolds and Judd Nelson hanging out?
2. "You WOULD like a batting cage..." what does THAT mean???
3. "Chug-a-lug"?
4. MULLETS. I call Drug Dealer, you can have loser suburban coke kid.
5. I like how dad's slurping on a scotch when the kid says he has a problem.
6. Why does the computer say "NO MORE DRUGS"? Does that actually convince anybody?
7. I thought they were really going to go for a drink afterwards for a moment, which is awesome.

(PS. Judd Nelson looks like Roy from the nose up, which always weirds me out!!!)

McG – This got sent to me by mistake.

I've had a rough day.

Gimme a crayfish!

And keep 'em coming.

Oh, and can I also get a beer when you get a chance?

An idea for your next anniversary, MacGruber:

Get in an infinity pool and let your hands do the talking. Or are they walking?

Don't forget your Lee® Press-Ons.