For our *important* meeting

Your choices, McG.

Merry Christmas, P!

This is about as close to as iPad as we are getting!

Core Values, Pt 2: P & McG's Wistful Thinking Values

1. We value no buzzwordy, nonactionable emails after 4pm
2. We value taking care of business first, then playing cool-guy-breaking-all-the-rules tech CEO later.
3. We value iPads, and bonuses.
4. We value another explanation as to how a smartphone works.
5. We definitely value cookies.
6. We value agendas, and preparation, even though that doesn't fit with CGBATR CEO lifestyle.
7. We value people that can manage an email inbox.
8. We value people that understand the phrase "don't shit where you eat"
9. Did I mention cookies? That's a very important value.
10. Hey, what about customer service? That should be a value, right? Maybe? Ehhh, fuck it.

Core Values, Part 1

1. the meat hangs off the side of the buns and people like that.

2. it's ok to have a lunch czar.

3. yes. no. yes. don't. 

4. girls are people too. (not really, but legally we have to say that.)

5. look around...you just might be the lunch czar.

6. no gossip allowed.

7. i trust you and the work you're doing.

8. what exactly is it that you do again?

9. don't look now, here comes the sandwich board-wearing lunch czar.

10. let's be rational. 

What do you need most?

• highly-integrated multi-platform data extraction modulars
• add actionable outsource input centers of excellence
• disambiguate functionality deliverables

• dirty martini dispenser

• leverage gain by incentivizing ramp up on the value prop

Your Membership Badge Just Arrived!

P's first Very Special Weekend Post

Courtesy of Mr. The Position, here's a video of JCH and his billionaire man crush.

How I love myself!

Hi, this is The Position...experienced nerd, incredible person and enjoyer of all things me. I'm also the co-creator of this amazing blog!

It all started when I was 5 and a half. Everyone in my family was older and busy, and I was like, "You know what, self? I'm fucking awesome!!!!"

From there I was inspired to change the world in all sorts of ways, from writing about myself, to drawing about myself, to starring in several one-man shows dedicated to The Life & Times of Myself. The most recent attempt won a Screenie!

The Position, age unkown

It was only natural for me to find all sorts of outlets to talk about myself, so about four years ago I signed up for every social network and blogging company there is. I'm working on a book and soon you can see The Life & Times of Myself on vimeo, youtube and at Cannes.

I promise to write more about myself as often as I can. Check back!

McG & P Win!

McG and P accept the award for the Most Time Ever Spent On A 2 Minute Screencast That Will Never Be Watched.

McG says "I'd like to thank Camtasia, and my poor overworked MacBook, and P for her vision and guidance. I'd like to NOT thank Joni, cause I am sick of hearing her stupid voice. Aren't my feathers badass?"

The Queen

likes slow pans and wine-sniffin'.

EXHIBIT A.

A very special weekend post

while I yell at my new printer. It's stupid! And has lots of parts! When in Apple is gonna make printers?



BEST NEW SONG EVER

A rare video of The Position in a beauty contest.

I'm smart!

Give it up, P.

We all know you can't write much more than a sentence. And those complicated spreadsheet? FORGET IT.

Just draw your pretty pictures, ok?

You, Me, Robot & the Longtail.

guess which one's the longtail.

Here we goooOooOoooo!

ca-ching!

"Still waiting on that menu, P!"

Srsly, I can't wait.

McG's kitchen is so...

RSS-y.

Sure, we've had some issues...

but could this be one of our customers?

I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue

I can't take it without you here, P!!!

McG can never leave for 3 days in a row again.

Auntie D chatted my eyeballs off.

MacGruber – Director of Blowing Shit Up and Failed Clipart Renamer

* Role: Doing small, minute tasks for unknown reasons. Also in charge of getting the NY Times to write about us. So far it's been like this:



* Hobbies: Promote synergy (like a boss)!!



Eat a bagel (but I don't share it with the garbage)

* What will you find on your night stand: I don't have a nightstand! A pile of books on the floor. Unread: classics and books to help me be a better person. Read: Trashy fiction, Real Simple, and Jcrew catalog.

* Fun Fact: I put in a shift of drinking (8hrs!) when drunk texting P. And I called her a terrible person, after I drunktexted her 17 times. I'm awesome!

* Strength: Being able to squash annoyance in a single motion, able to put up with mass amounts of BS.

* Weakness: Baked goods, coffee, bloody marys, Auntie D Designs

The Position – Fireworks Coordinator and Guru Extraordinaire

• Role: Looking for new ways to make a buck, no matter WHERE it may be. (psst...git yer fireworks here!)
• Hobbies: Eating, grabbing low-hanging fruit, optimizing shit, blowing up your phone with scalable turnkey solutions
• What will you find on your night stand: 5 magazines and 3 unfinished books. And some dust.
• Fun Fact: I love to receive and send drunk texts with McG.
• Strength: Pounding 7 beers and still having the wherewithal to get people to buy the shoes once they're in the store.
• Weakness: Dr. Steve Brule

A new business direction

fiiirrreewoorkkssssss!

git yer fireworks here!!!!!

BOOM! BANG! POW!

Vega$ Success, by the numbers

Number of hands of Let it Ride vs. number won: 20/0
Number of sports bets made vs. number won: 2/0
Number of martinis consumed Saturday night: 4
Number of hangovers suffered: 0 (I rule!)
Number of eggs & potatoes meals consumed cause there are no veg options in Vega$: 3
Number of strangers danced with in a bank of slot machines: 1
Amount won playing roulette: $200ish (what!?!?!)
Percentage chance that I will go back to Vega$ next year: 1000%

they really are dummies!

i believe it's called a salad.

istock is a dummy

not a pumpkin.

For your health

Slot machines, tuna and cat scraps galore

illegible texts while drunk on the floor

a creepy croworker who asks to join the fun

will bring your big Vrega$ winnings down to 'bout none.

—a poem... by Dr. Steve Brule

twice the fun for McG

vega$, baby!

i love your new short haircut!!!!

A Very Special Weekend Post #2

I want half the clothes in this ad. Also, ALL THE GLASSES ARE THE SAME.

I have a new email address... Wait, what?!