MacGruber and The Position

7.29.2010

7.26.2010

"Still waiting on that menu, P!"

Srsly, I can't wait.

7.20.2010

Sure, we've had some issues...

but could this be one of our customers?

7.16.2010

I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue

I can't take it without you here, P!!!

7.12.2010

McG can never leave for 3 days in a row again.

Auntie D chatted my eyeballs off.

7.01.2010

MacGruber – Director of Blowing Shit Up and Failed Clipart Renamer

* Role: Doing small, minute tasks for unknown reasons. Also in charge of getting the NY Times to write about us. So far it's been like this:

* Hobbies: Promote synergy (like a boss)!!

Eat a bagel (but I don't share it with the garbage)

* What will you find on your night stand: I don't have a nightstand! A pile of books on the floor. Unread: classics and books to help me be a better person. Read: Trashy fiction, Real Simple, and Jcrew catalog.

* Fun Fact: I put in a shift of drinking (8hrs!) when drunk texting P. And I called her a terrible person, after I drunktexted her 17 times. I'm awesome!

* Strength: Being able to squash annoyance in a single motion, able to put up with mass amounts of BS.

* Weakness: Baked goods, coffee, bloody marys, Auntie D Designs

6.29.2010

The Position – Fireworks Coordinator and Guru Extraordinaire

Role: Looking for new ways to make a buck, no matter WHERE it may be. (psst...git yer fireworks here!)
Hobbies: Eating, grabbing low-hanging fruit, optimizing shit, blowing up your phone with scalable turnkey solutions
What will you find on your night stand: 5 magazines and 3 unfinished books. And some dust.
Fun Fact: I love to receive and send drunk texts with McG.
Strength: Pounding 7 beers and still having the wherewithal to get people to buy the shoes once they're in the store.
Weakness: Dr. Steve Brule

6.25.2010

A new business direction

fiiirrreewoorkkssssss!

git yer fireworks here!!!!!

BOOM! BANG! POW!

6.22.2010

Vega$ Success, by the numbers

Number of hands of Let it Ride vs. number won: 20/0
Number of sports bets made vs. number won: 2/0
Number of martinis consumed Saturday night: 4
Number of hangovers suffered: 0 (I rule!)
Number of eggs & potatoes meals consumed cause there are no veg options in Vega$: 3
Number of strangers danced with in a bank of slot machines: 1
Amount won playing roulette: $200ish (what!?!?!)
Percentage chance that I will go back to Vega$ next year: 1000%

6.21.2010

they really are dummies!

i believe it's called a salad.

istock is a dummy

not a pumpkin.

For your health

Slot machines, tuna and cat scraps galore

illegible texts while drunk on the floor

a creepy croworker who asks to join the fun

will bring your big Vrega$ winnings down to 'bout none.

—a poem... by Dr. Steve Brule

6.18.2010

twice the fun for McG

vega$, baby!

i love your new short haircut!!!!

5.30.2010

A Very Special Weekend Post #2

I want half the clothes in this ad. Also, ALL THE GLASSES ARE THE SAME.

5.25.2010

I have a new email address... Wait, what?!

5.22.2010

A Very Special Weekend Post: I Don't Understand???

1. Why are Burt Reynolds and Judd Nelson hanging out?
2. "You WOULD like a batting cage..." what does THAT mean???
3. "Chug-a-lug"?
4. MULLETS. I call Drug Dealer, you can have loser suburban coke kid.
5. I like how dad's slurping on a scotch when the kid says he has a problem.
6. Why does the computer say "NO MORE DRUGS"? Does that actually convince anybody?
7. I thought they were really going to go for a drink afterwards for a moment, which is awesome.

(PS. Judd Nelson looks like Roy from the nose up, which always weirds me out!!!)